It’s unfortunate but the work of mothering is kinda invisible in our culture. It isn’t how it should be but you simply don’t get the same applauds.
Yes a lot of it is drudgery – but get it wrong and the stakes are high. (Look at the ACE study if you want evidence of this).
In the corporate world, you get paid a lot to not get it wrong. Who gets a £30k salary for raising well adjusted, self supporting kids? Society would fall over in one generation if all the unpaid parent-labourers went on strike.
But it’s easy to forget this.
So how do you hold onto (or even find!) your self esteem when you’ve put in a lot of hours doing something that – apparently – is kind of worthless?
Whether you’re a full time parent or a full time worker juggling parenting, that side of your life isn’t celebrated and upheld nearly as well or as jubilantly as it should be. It’s been termed “parent oppression” and it has all kinds of effects on our mental health and that of our kids.
The effect I want to talk about most right now is its impact on trusting yourself.
The skewed vision of this enormously important job creates a twist in your own mind around the value you put on yourself, your time, energy, attention and endeavours.
It can be very, very easy to forget how powerful you are when this deeply creative act of raising humans is sort of brushed to the side by the other people who surround us (because society is “other people”.)
A big part of finding your balance as a mother and woman in the world is to reclaim the parts of you that you’ve devalued, ignored and rode roughshod over.
This might include your intuition, your generosity, your creativity, or your fierceness.
You are a powerful creator – you are doing it every single day. Ultimately, you get to define yourself.
One of the reasons I talk so much about boundaries in The Real Superwoman is because its a huge area where women leak power, energy and life force.
AND when the boundaries start to come in again, it unleashes extraordinary creative energy – to redirect the course of your family, your relationships and your life.
I point this out – the impact of the prevailing view of parenting – so you can notice how far from the truth it really is. So you can see the truth of what you are doing more clearly.
You are extraordinary, gifted, and a receptical for pure joy.
Warm blessings, Alice xxx